5 elements for good rhyme

This article has been translated from “優れた韻の条件”.

Overview

This is a report on the study of the factors that affect the quality of rhyme.
The author is a Japanese, and this report is mainly written for Japanese poetry.

Evaluating rhyme (simplified version)

First, I considered the following five criteria for evaluating rhymes.

1. Novelty of word choice
2. Length of the combined number of sounds
3. Naturalness of meaning
4. Sound matching rate
5. Number of times the same rhyme is repeated

In order of personal importance.

Evaluating rhyme (detailed version)

Next, I did a more detailed analysis and redefined the five elements.
There is still room for revision, but I think most of my thought can be explained by this division.

1. Unexpectedness
2. Linkage
3. Clarity
4. Originality
5. Directionality

Unexpectedness

• Does it connect the first phrase to the unexpected second phrase?
• Does it combine words with high materiality?

Linkage

• How many vowels and consonants are matched?
• Is the number of mora and strokes sufficient?
• Does it give the reader (or listener) a sense of the rhythm of repetition?

Clarity

• Is the sentence clear and concise enough to make sense?
• Can the reader immediately identify the rhyming passage?
• In the case of a song, is it expressed in a similar singing style?

Originality

• Is there a subject matter, word choice, or experimental gimmick that is unique?

Directionality

• Is there an interesting story or reading material?
• Are there any external elements, such as extreme strokes?
• In the case of a song, is there any ingenuity in the singing style? (e.g., the way the chorus is added)

As with the simplified version, I have listed them in order of personal importance.

(I’ll provide supplementary explanation of individual terms in a separate article or glossary.)

Example of evaluating with five elements (1)

アーモンドチョコレート 頬張り道中 遠回りもするし困り物で
はあもうどうしようこれ……と オーバーにポーズとったって行方nobody knows!
SIX “フリークライミング”

The odd bars have the similar-sounding long rhymes “アーモンドチョコレート""はあもうどうしようこれ……と”.
The even bars are limited to the short rhymes of “遠回りもす”, “困り物”, and “nobody knows” to reinforce the “頬張り道中”, and concentrate on the flow of the text.

In addition, “困り物” is a subset rhyme that creates a rhythmic change in the series of hits. (It also serves as an accent.)

20/25

The above is an example of evaluating a whole sentence.
A partial evaluation of just one set would look like this.

Example of partial evaluating

The following is an example of partial evaluation of “アーモンドチョコレート” and “はあもうどうしようこれ……と”.

18/25

In the case of evaluating the whole, after doing such partial evaluation for each pair, average the values.

However, the partial evaluation is a pinpoint evaluation.
It’s not possible to evaluate tricks that are connected to the context before and after, such as “continuous rhyme” or “delay rhyme” (I’ll describe in detail in another article).

Examples of evaluating with five elements (2)

その独自の目線wide display　つまらぬ人生に醍醐味つくれ
他に媚びず群れぬ　i’m 孤立無援　倍のリスクでも難易度に潰れず
メリハリあるバイオリズムで向上心は態度にすぐ出る
tight beatsくれ　奪い取りくすねるマイクとリンクで退路見ずbreak
SIX “フリークライミング”

The word choice is mediocre, but the consonant matching rate is kept high in this continuous rhyme.
In some bars, only the second half rhymes. (1,2,5,6)
In other bars, the whole part rhymes. (3,4,7,8)
A mix of these aims to avoid monotony.

”マイクとリンク” is a subset rhyme that creates a rhythmic change.

19/25

Summary

These five elements are just a sample of what I’ve come up with.
But it’s useful to have a clear idea of “X elements” to evaluate your rhyme.
When we’re aware of the strengths and weaknesses of each rhyme, we can find the highlight of rhyme, and result of sacrifice.

That’s all for today.

2016.11.2 draft
2018.5.31 japanese edition
2021.8.18 english edition